Grandma Sallie

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You." (Psalm 9:10)

My Grandma Sallie would have been 95 today. She passed away 8 months ago, on December 12th. The above verse is one she had chosen for her funeral. This picture was taken on Thanksgiving, the last time I saw her before she died.

This is the Grandma that prayed for me every day of my life. Her full name was Selma Marie Knutson. Selma means "divinely protected by God." Abby's middle name is Selmalynn, named after Grandma.

Some special memories with Grandma Sallie...When I was really little, we spent Christmases up at her house at the lake in Bemidji, MN. I loved her red shag carpet, her Swedish meatballs, and her fancy blue and white dishes (which are now mine). As I got older, she taught me how to make lefse & took me to the movie Annie when it came out in the theaters. I remember playing Uno together while we snacked on Pringles and Rye Krisp. When Grandma & Grandpa moved to an apartment in Waconia, she planted a garden at my parents' house, down by the lake. When we were kids, we swam nearly every day and when we got hungry we'd snack on yummy strawberries and pea pods fresh from the garden. Grandma also loved teacups, having a beautiful collection--part of which is also now mine. In her later years, I remember times when we'd do devotions together at her nursing home. I'd read the Scriptures she requested, or read aloud from her large print devotional. Then we would pray together. When it was time for me to leave, I'd tell her I loved her and she'd reply "I love you more."

When I went off to college, (before she moved to the nursing home) I remember being keenly aware that Grandma would not live forever. (She was approaching 80 by this point.) I began diligently writing her letters, and she and I kept up a wonderful correspondence throughout my college years.

As she reached 90, Grandma really wanted to make sure her affairs were in order. She asked me to help her plan her funeral. I wrote down all of her wishes, from the hymns and Scriptures she wanted, to flowers and what she wanted to be buried in. She also requested that I sing, eulogize, and play my flute at her funeral. I told her I'd do my best, and somehow I did manage to honor those requests.

You'd think, given her age, I'd have been prepared for Grandma's passing, but it hit me harder than I expected. For months I'd cry every time I thought of her. I miss her dearly. But I know I will see her again in heaven. As I said when I spoke at her funeral, Grandma is in heaven not because she was a good person--though she was, she is in heaven because she trusted Christ alone for the forgiveness of her sins. She knew she wasn't perfect and couldn't earn her way to heaven by doing enough good things. She gave her heart, mind, and soul to God, serving Him in quiet humility all the days of her life.

I leave you with one more Scripture--another she had chosen for her funeral:

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us and we are his;
we are his people, she sheep of is pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love
endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations."
(Psalm 100)

Nathan's Prayers

Nathan wanted to pray at supper tonight. His prayer went something like this...

"Dear Jesus, thank You for Mommy...and Daddy...and Abby...and Em-a-wee, and Mommy...and Daddy...and Bear (Teddy Bear)...and Baby (had help from big sisters here) and our food (help from Daddy)...and my toys...and my gun (Mark Felton's huge toy machine gun)...and our drinks...and our forks...and our plates...and Abby...and Em-a-wee..."

After everyone kept peeking up from their bowed heads, I think Daddy finally thanked Nathan & cut him off.

It's always good to have much to be thankful for, though, isn't it?

Really God?!

"Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

So throughout this process of pursuing doula training, I keep giving this dream to God. Keep placing it on the alter, praying for His wisdom, and taking one step at a time.

I keep encountering obstacles that make me think "maybe this isn't the right timing...maybe He wants me to put this dream on hold again, especially with the baby coming..." but each time I pray & offer it back to Him, He seems to remove the obstacle completely. It's been fun to watch Him work, and to see His confirmation time and time again that this is in His wonderful plan for me. Honestly, it brings such joy to pursue gifts you know you can use to serve Him.

Here's some of what God's done:

1) Money. I needed $300 to attend my main doula training workshop this weekend. We've had a lot of extra expenses lately, and I thought there was no way I could come up the money, and that even if I could, it wouldn't be wise to spend it on this workshop right now. I prayed and asked God to provide if He wanted me to attend, knowing this might close the door decidedly for the time being.

His answer: Literally, within an hour of when I prayed, I had the money. I first pooled some cash I'd set aside in envelopes, like birthday money, fun money, some money I'd earned by taking a survey, etc. (This is money that we don't allow to be used for bills and such.) That put me over the $200 mark. I excitedly called Wade, and he then told me to cash in a bucket of coins we'd been saving. I hoped for maybe $20-40...but got $96!!! I not only had enough for the workshop, but also most of what I needed to buy my certification packet as well. Wow God!

2) Who would watch my kids on Saturday (Wade works) during the training, as I need to leave by 6:15 AM!

His answer: I was running out of options when my friend Jodi graciously offered, without being asked, to either take my kids overnight the night before, or to come and stay over at our house herself so she'd be here in the morning when I left. She could then watch them until noon, and then my sister-in-law, Ginger, said she could come & watch them from noon on.

3) What about handling the physical demands of being a doula while I'm pregnant? Was that realistic--or wise? (For example, sometimes doulas need to physically support or massage women for long periods while they're in labor.)

His answer: I talked to my midwife about it, who said it's perfectly fine to attend births as a doula while pregnant myself, and that I should simply know and express my limits. That was also when she said she wants to help me get the experience I'll need right at Stillwater hospital, even while I'm yet pregnant.

4) This was perhaps the biggest one--how in the world would it work to be on call as a doula when I've got small children to take care of myself? Births can take a long time, and who could I ask--without being an imposition--to watch my kids in that scenario?

His answer: I happened to talk with the coordinator of the volunteer doula program at Woodwinds, who said each doula volunteers for one 24 hour shift a month where she is on call--AND SHE GETS TO PICK THE DAY! I could pick days where Wade is home! AND, she said after I've attended my workshop this weekend, she wants to set up an interview and put me on the schedule right away! No way!

Ashes to Ashes

Abby: Mom, why do you want to have yourself made into ashes when you die?

Me: I'm not set on it, but I've known a number of godly people who have done it that way, I like the idea, and I think it would be neat to have my ashes sprinkled.

Abby: Um...I think I'd just keep you in a jar.

100th Post...my story

It's tradition for some in blogland to post 100 things about themselves for their 100th post. I thought I'd follow suit...

When I first started writing, I thought it would be quite a monumental task. But thanks to one of my middle of the night insomnia episodes, once I started writing I found I had lots to say. I began with mostly random useless information. But as I got going, I started really sharing my heart, steps in my journey, and key milestones in my faith. If you make it to the end in reading, let me know if you learn anything about me that you didn't already know.

So here goes:

1. My left pinky finger is crooked--thanks to a jam in 8th grade volleyball
2. I can touch my tongue to the tip of my nose. Actually I can stick it up my nose.
3. I've got a thing for orange kitchens. (Not to be confused with orange kittens.)
4. My favorite movie is probably Pretty Woman.
5. Growing up we had a beloved black lab named Abby.
6. No, my daughter wasn't named after the dog.
7. I play the flute & piccolo.
8. I've sung in 10 or so weddings.
9. I'm not very good at fixing things.
10. I didn't learn to cook until I was married. Never even made spaghetti until my 20's.
11. Safely Home by Randy Alcorn is perhaps the most powerful book I've ever read.

12. I grew up living on a little lake in Waconia, MN. My parents still live there.
13. We attended a nominal church
14. where I don't remember ever hearing the Gospel preached.
15. But when I was 14, I attended a great Lutheran Bible camp
16. where I gave my life to Jesus,
17. somehow understanding even then that this would change the course of my life forever.
18. I knew I was making a lifelong commitment
19. And that it would involve all of me, and every decision I'd make thereafter.

20. My favorite activities in High School were marching band & Pop Group (show choir).
21. I think I grew up pretty naive as I never knew anyone in high school who did drugs.
22. (I guess that's changed now.)
23. I do remember being one of only about 10 people in my class of 105 who didn't drink.
24. I was never part of the in-crowd, but no one ever teased me for my faith, or my stance on drinking.
25. At least, not to my face.

26. At the age of 13, my friend Heather & I attended Space Camp.
27. This was in 1987, and back then not many girls attended.
28. I had sincere dreams of becoming the 1st female shuttle commander!
29. But by 9th grade I realized I really wasn't so hot at science & math.
30. Instead I much preferred English, Grammar, Music, & History.

31. Also in 9th grade, I was chosen in a survey--to my complete surprise--as one of the top people my classmates "would go to if they had a problem or needed someone to talk to."
32. Those of us chosen were then given extensive training as Peer Counselors/Helpers in the areas of listening and problem solving.
33. This became a catalyst & springboard for me
34. as the skills I learned have also benefited me in everything from friendships, to job interviews, to working with the high school youth at FCC.
35. I think I also began to see here that maybe God had other plans for me than becoming an Astronaut.

36. Growing up, I was the only one in my family who openly followed Jesus. (My parents were still awesome, though!)
37. I did have a Grandma (Sallie) who prayed for me every day.
38. Over time, my mom & my sister, Bria, have joined the ranks & profess faith as well.
39. In fact, my little sis' has now become one of the greatest sources of encouragement to me in my walk with God.

40. After graduation, I had dreams of attending a Christian college.
41. I was all set to attend Bethel College--even got a small music scholarship to play my flute there.
42. But God closed the doors financially & and I ended up at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls.
43. Ironically, though I did minor in music, I didn't play my flute much there.
44. Instead I joined the choir.

45. At a secular college, it's been said that one either sinks or swims in their faith.
46. By God's grace, I swam!
47. My faith was challenged & also strengthened
48. as God led me to InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, where I learned from many strong, godly believers.
49. I saw the campus as both my mission field & training ground

50. During the summer after my sophomore year in college, I got to spend a month on a mission trip to Namibia, Africa. One of the best experiences of my life.
51. As one of 3 singers in a contemporary Christian band (all young people) with Carpenter's Tools International, we performed in assemblies in the public schools in Namibia.
52. Surprisingly, we were allowed to share the Gospel in the schools.
53. I loved talking with, praying with, & encouraging hurting teens,
54. and I loved seeing them find hope as they came to faith in Jesus

55. I have very few regrets regarding high school & college.
56. During that season in my life God gave me great boldness in sharing my faith with anyone who would listen.
57. God always seemed to be opening the doors for the most amazing conversations with people.
58. Now at age 34, I seemed to have lost some of that fearlessness and sometimes wish I could be that bold again.

59. It may come as a surprise, but I used to do a lot of speaking in both high school & college,
60. at various camps, retreats, & special services or youth events.
61. Once, at age 20, I was even paid to preach a sermon in a local church.
62. They asked me to fill in for their pastor who was out of town.
63. I was required to choose the hymns, scriptures, and preach for 20 minutes or so.
(Honestly, I can't believe I did this. I'd be scared silly to do it now!)
64. It seemed that God had given me a gift to communicate His love and truth to others.

65. But near the end of my college years, I struggled a bit with depression, loneliness, some faith issues, and a general lack of direction.
66. I began turning down requests to speak & teach until, in the circles I was in, people no longer even knew that this had a been a forte and passion of mine.
67. I don't know if God will ever choose to resurrect that gift again.
68. But I do know that I desire to simply serve Him above all else,
69. and that I want to be obedient to just "do the next right thing,"
70. being a good steward of any gift He chooses to give.
71. For now, besides my biggest duty--being a wife and mom, I believe God is leading me and opening doors for me to become a doula.
72. I love the idea of being a blessing & an encouragement to women in labor.

73. But Lord, not my will, but Yours be done.

74. After college, Wade & I were married.
75. During our courtship, engagement, and early married years, we truly believed we were called to be foreign missionaries.
76. Other than a couple of short term trips to Mexico, that vision never came to fruition.
77. Sometimes I wonder what God might have in mind far down the road.

78. A few years into our marriage, we knew we desired 4 or 5 children.
79. But before we had Abby, we went through almost 2 years of infertility.
80. That was honestly one of the most painful times of my life.
81. But it ended up drawing me closer to God
82. as I learned to trust Him more and praise Him through the pain.
83. This brought me immense freedom as I learned that God knew what He was doing
84. and that I could trust His timing.
85. I now marvel at our 3--soon to be 4--little blessings!

86. Ironically, at the risk of sounding negative, I must admit that I don't really enjoy working with other people's young children. (Except maybe infants.)
87. I marvel at the great nursery & AWANA workers we have at FCC (& I have helped a bit, myself, too)
88. But if I'm honest, I know it's not my forte or gifting.
89. (And I very much believe the body of Christ functions best when we all serve where we are gifted.)
90. Give me young women (teens, young marrieds, etc.) to encourage & teach...and I'm much more in my element!

91. In addition, one of my favorite things to do in all of life is to lead worship.
92. I love to see others drawn into the presence of God.
93. It is then that I am perhaps the most in my element.

Hmmm...I've got 7 more to go. Let's see...

94. My favorite desserts are: cheesecake, almond joy ice cream, lemon bars, carrot cake. Not necessarily in that order.
95. I'd love to live in an older home in downtown Hudson again,
96. something with character and charm.
97. Wade would like to live out in the country.
98. The best trip we ever took was a cruise to Hawaii last summer,
99. a belated 10th Anniversary trip.
100. A close runner up would be the 4-wheeling trip we took this summer.

I made it. Did you?

OK, I've put myself out there more than I ever have before in blogland. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated. :)

OK Then...

We've got a quirky neighbor. Everyone has one, don't they? I don't see this one much. In fact, I'm not sure of her name...Jan maybe. She's got a little maimed poodle that she pulls around in a little red wagon. Anyway, she's quite the talker, but very friendly.

Jan heard recently that we're pregnant with #4. With enthusiasm she replied "Oh I had four!" (Cool, somebody who understands.) Then she went on with something on the order of this:

"Yeah...don't know what I was thinking. He was my toughest, that #4. Biggest baby. Big and fat and rolly polly. Never had any hair, either. Toughest to handle, too. And then he even went and became a Republican. Black sheep of the family." (Shakes head.)

OK then...thanks for the uplifting words, Jan. :)

Oddballs?

This was posted on my friend Katie's blog. I got a kick out of it and it got me reminiscing...

My Dad's a taxidermist, and growing up it was not at all unusual to come down in the morning for breakfast and stumble upon a dead owl thawing out on the counter, or a skinned duck on a big meat hook suspended from our kitchen chandelier.

My Dad was also a Mr. Mom of sorts. (He even made front page of the local paper.) With his shop in our basement, he was home to handle the cooking and cleaning as well. (My mom was a public school teacher.) He took care of my sister when she was little, and I remember her playing with a little indoor sandbox made of sawdust. Dad used the same "sandbox" to dry out bird hides and such.

We didn't think too much of this stuff, but when I had friends over for dinner, they were always a little leery as to what they might be eating for supper. :)

Any unique happenings in your family?

Random Morsels From the Kiddos

Em (while sitting on the counter with Nathan): Hey Nathan, stay here and I'll get the whoopie cushion. Then we can sit up here and toot! (Devilish giggles.)

Em & Abby: Mom, you are the bestest cook! Oh, and Daddy, and God, and Rachael Ray,...and that one girl with the long hair, and our neighbor Jean...(Glad to know I stand out from the rest.)

Nathan: Mom, where is Jesus?
Me: He's everywhere, honey. He's right next to you,...
Nathan: No, He is under my pillow.

Nathan (who's got a sensitive sniffer): What's dat smell, Momma?
Me (not smelling anything): I don't know Nathan, what is it?
Nathan (very matter-of-fact): It's cow poop on Daddy's head.

Never a dull moment.

I'm Taking a Stand Too

This was posted on our friend Joey's blog. I may ruffle some feathers here, (I'm the only conservative voter in my family of origin) but I'd have to say I'm right there with Joey.

Monday, July 14, 2008

OBAMA ON ABORTION

Call me a single-issue voter if you like (and I suppose you would have a valid argument), but this is the chief reason I can't vote for Obama. If your judgment is that poor on this issue, then what kind of judgment would you have on a myriad of other issues?





And may I (Kara) add my own comment:

"Punished with a baby"...right, because heaven forbid they take responsibility for their actions, and choose the self-less option of carrying the baby and placing it for adoption.

First OB Appointment

Had my first OB appointment on Tuesday. I'm seeing a Midwife this time around--Fern Aspen, a wonderful Christian woman whom I've known for a couple of years now. (I first got to know her by being with Jen during her labor with Karin, and then started seeing her myself for various female issues.) Though I really liked the male OB's I've had in the past, I've noticed a difference already with having a midwife. She took the time to ask me what kind of labor and delivery I would hope to have. She asked what was helpful or unhelpful in my past deliveries, etc. Midwives also tend to take more time to treat the whole person and I really appreciate this.

Did have a little scare during the appointment. No matter what they tried, they couldn't find the heartbeat. At almost 11 weeks, they knew they should be able to hear it. Fern told me not to worry--she could see the heartbeat on the doppler, but just to be on the safe side she wanted me to have another ultrasound. (She also said this happens frequently with mothers in subsequent deliveries--more room in the uterus, etc.) After reiterating to the doctor in the ultrasound room that I knew my dates weren't off, sure enough he did indeed find the heartbeat right away. A beautiful sight to this anxious mommy! Baby was doing a little jig in there, wiggling and moving its arms and legs up and down. I fell in love all over again. Incidentally, when I looked back at my pregnancy journal for Nathan, I read that they had trouble finding his heartbeat at about this time also. I'd forgotten that.

Lastly, I mentioned to my midwife that I'm training to become a doula. She was so excited, telling me I'd be great at that. (Quite a confirmation coming from her, a professional I respect.) She said as soon as I receive my certification, she wants to add me to Stillwater's list of doulas that they hand out to all the pregnant mommies. Also, again without my asking, she mentioned that she'd like to help me gain the hours and experience I'll need before certification by attending births at Stillwater--by recommending me to patients. I wasn't expecting such an enthusiastic response from her, and I felt so grateful. Things are starting to come together.

I had just been praying about finances to attend the $300 workshop here in August, and the Lord provided. (One third of it came from cashing in a bucket of change we've been saving up--it pays to save coins!) I also asked Fern if it's still reasonable to attend births while I am pregnant. She said absolutely, as long as I know and express my limits. That was another question I'd specifically been praying about--had wondered if I'd need to put the training on hold yet again. But it seems the doors are opening up. I'm excited!

It's Hard to Be a Kid

Apparently it's a hard lesson for a 6&7 year old to learn: when Mom says it's time to pick up & you've got 15 minutes to do it, Mom means business.

Yes, apparently it's more appealing to fight, bug each other, and get distracted by the hot pink stamp you found--and stamp hot pink butterflies on your noses and eyes and everywhere else. But it's not so appealing when the timer dings, the mess is still everywhere, and thus consequences must ensue. And no, Mom won't fall for the excuse that your little sister forced you against your will to stamp your face in 5 places. Nice try.

And to my 2 year old: you added a nice touch by wrapping yourself in the curtains and suspending yourself from our not-so-sturdy new curtain rod. I appreciate your thoughtfulness amidst all the chaos. Daddy enjoyed it also--coming home after 2 days of overtime up at the farm, walking down to the back entrance to surprise his kiddos and seeing you there on your own personal flying trapeze. It was a good welcome home greeting. Thank you for that.

Oh, to y'all: don't be surprised if today at VBS you see two girls with rosy pink noses, and one with a scab, too. (She discovered on her own that the butterfly stamp doesn't rub off very well.)

Hugs Across the Miles!

I received a very sweet care package today from a company called "Cotton Babies" via my dear friend Danielle from Indiana. Preggie Pop Drops and Organic Morning Wellness Tea w/ ginger. I feel loved. Abby & Emily couldn't get over the technically naked pregnant lady on the front of the tea container. LOL.

Thank you, Danielle!!!

Also today, Naomi recommended Gin-Gins (a sweet candy with ginger.) And I've found peppermint to help. What's your favorite morning sickness/all day sickness cure?

Addendum: today (Tues.) Naomi brought me some Gin-Gins. I'm really feelin' the love. Thank you Naomi!

Did You Know...

1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a "tittle." (Erin, take note.)

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 dictionary were misspelled.

8. The "spot" on 7 UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. (Scary if this is true.)

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

12. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear
pants.

13. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

14. Upper and lower case letters are named "upper" and "lower" because in
the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, "lower case" letters.

15. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were
made of wood.

16. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

17. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which
stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. (Nice, huh?)

18. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for
automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

19. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

20. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often
stolen from public libraries.


* I make no guarantees regarding the accuracy of the above statements.

P.S. After a tip-off from Kristi, I checked Susan Lucci via Wikopedia. Phyllis Diller's not her mom. You mean you can't believe everything you read? 10 points to the next person who finds another error...is the aforementioned postage stamp really kosher?

10th Year in Bemidji

(White Pines Resort on Turtle Lake, connected to Movil Lake)

Yes, I'm alive. No, not puking either. Not quite, anyway. (Thanks for checking, Lauralynn.) I didn't want to post on my blog that we'd be gone for a week in case some weirdo could track us down and rob all my valuable fake jewelry and huge money stash in the floor boards.

We just got back from our annual week up north in Bemidji, MN. For 10 years in a row now my parents have rented a cabin for all of us to spend a week together up at Movil Lake. My dad spent entire summers as a boy on this lake at his grandparents' cabin.


We had beautiful weather. There was lots of swimming and fishing, lots of eating, a little shopping, a Gilmore Girls marathon, and 3 dates for Wade. Wade took each of his girls on a special outing during the week. He and I went to our favorite Italian restaurant in Bemidji & then saw Batman (which rocked!) Abby & Daddy went out for coffee & a game of checkers, and Emily & Daddy bought tic tacs (Em's fave), gas station treats, and played at the park.



For our last night, we had a campfire with s'mores, my Dad & I played a little B-ball, and Wade and I played that game where you throw the ropes with the weighted thingies around goalpost looking things with 3 bars. (Anybody know what I'm talking about?)

It was a great week, but it's also great to be home. Let the laundry begin!