6 week old baby Courtney's got a good line up for the folks in church to keep 'em entertained during the service, and she tried out her tactics this past weekend in the cry room--which was fairly full this week I might add. Here are her strategies:
1.) Nurse loudly--must make slurping noises, too.
2. ) Sit up to burp, then immediately arf all over self causing the need for an outfit change on Mom & Dad's lap.
3.) Resume nursing but pause to fill pants. Be careful or someone might mistake you for a cappuccino maker in all its bubbling glory. Don't hold back now.
4.) Enjoy a diaper change. While lying down, urp again--this time all down the side of your head and leave a puddle for Mom to mop up & wipe out of your hair. Show everyone what you look like with half your hair dry & sticking up like a peacock while the other is wet and matted to your head. If they were any closer, they'd get a nice fragrant whiff as well.
5.) Once changed and cleaned up, let out a good rip-roaring fart that could put a grown man to shame.
Courtney's tactics must have worked well, because someone...(er um, Erin, nottomentionanynames) said "boy, that baby's got some gastrointestinal issues going on tonight."
