Comparison

So there is this blog I read...it's on my list actually. It's called Resolved 2 Worship. Beautiful title. I don't know why I read it, though. It often tempts me to compare and inevitably decide I don't measure up. I don't personally know the gal who writes it, but she seems amazing. She's younger than me, has 6 children with another on the way--and she homeschools. She's beautiful, runs marathons, and has her own photography business. Most of her blog posts could double as devotionals. She also has a degree in interior design and she and her family recently moved into a former beauty salon turned home--which she single-handedly (sp) redecorated on a budget of about $10. I'm exaggerating but not by much. She often posts these beautiful pictures of her beautiful children frolicking in the beautiful river. She shares what God is teaching her and it's always these deep amazing insights complete with Scripture alongside. Oh--and did I mention she sings and writes music, too? And that she never seems to have a bad hair day or children that fight or struggles in her marriage, or a baby that covers every outfit she owns in urp? (Oh, I forgot--she also makes her girls' clothes--and they always look amazingly cute and trendy.)

I tell myself that the image I paint in my mind of her life cannot be entirely accurate. She can't be perfect. She must have days where she feels the weight of her humanness...or maybe just gets a zit. Well, even if she doesn't, the truth is that I do. Though I love my life, I have plenty of days where I feel like I fall short, days where I not only feel frumpy & dumpy and out of style, but days where I see all my glaring faults and wonder how in the world my kids are going to turn out okay with a mom like me.

The truth though is that I am doing my best, and I am choosing to cling to Jesus and rest in Him. He doesn't judge me like I judge myself. The truth is that God holds my children in His hands. The truth is that although I can't sew a button on to save my life, I have been given gifts and I love using them to serve my God. And the truth is that in God's eyes I am beautiful every day. And as for my character, I am a work in progress and that is how it's supposed to be. He Who began a good work in me will be faithful to carry it to completion. (from Phil. 1:5-7).

Yes, it's not good to compare.

Fear

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

Preface: I'm wrestling out loud a bit with my view of God. Bear with me while I process. When one shares thoughts like this on a heart level, we always run the risk of being misunderstood or judged. But at the same time, I want to be real. And maybe I'm not the only one who has struggled with having a right view of God...

This past weekend I went to a womens' conference at my church. The speaker was a wonderful, joy-filled, 28 year old gal named Tasha Schuh. As a high school student in Ellsworth, WI, she'd been paralyzed when she fell through a trap door during rehearsal for a musical she was in. Her testimony was wonderful, powerful, and God-honoring. I could hear the sniffles around me as everyone was being uplifted, encouraged and challenged. During breaks I nodded in agreement as all the other women I spoke with were sharing how impacted they were by her story. And yet all I could think was "this is terrifying me." Tasha's story is exactly the kind of thing one needs to hear when going through a really difficult time--it was all about God using bad things for good in our lives, and for His glory. But at this time in my life, it simply made me afraid...and yet I know God doesn't want us to live in fear...

If I may share a bit...I became a believer at age 14, so I've been walking with God for a good 20 years now. And I can honestly say that there have been very few times in those 2 decades where I haven't been dealing with some sort of struggle, obstacle or trial. Maybe that's true for most of us? (To be precise, there have been only two times that I can recall...once was a beautiful time of bliss during the year my firstborn Abby was a baby...and the other has been this current school year. Both have been times where I've really thoroughly enjoyed my life and it's felt balanced, with little or no complaints.) Now, I'm not saying I haven't had joy--or peace--God's been faithful to help me choose and experience both in the midst of trials. I'm just saying I wouldn't describe my life as easy overall.

I can remember once in high school, my dear friend & fellow Christian, Abby, (part of the inspiration to name my daughter Abby) had commented to me that everything was going well in her life at the time--no complaints--life was just running smoothly for her and she was content. I remember being struck by the thought that I had never experienced that--never a time where I could say everything was going well. As a Christian, I knew it was expected to face trials ("In this life, you will have trouble..." John 16:33) but it never dawned on me that God might bring calm peaceful seasons of enjoyment as well.

All this to say, I realized at the Tasha Schuh conference that I am much more accustomed to being in a season of trials than I am of the opposite. Over the years I have become very familiar with perseverance, needing to trust, learning to praise Him in spite of--and even for--the difficult things I've experienced. Some of these difficulties have meant hanging in there over the long haul--years even, when I could see no way out and not much hope of things improving. Through all of this, I am fully convinced of Romans 8:28, that God works all things for good for those who love Him. (In essence, Tasha's message.) I also realized that it's almost become comfortable for me to live in the midst of trials and yet still trust and praise and seek Him--knowing He is faithful.

But what is not so comfortable for me are these rare seasons of truly enjoying balance and good things in my life. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, or for God to somehow yank it all away. So when Tasha was speaking, I wondered what horrible thing God might be trying to prepare me for next. And yet I know this kind of thinking is not what He'd want for me. Fear is something the enemy would love to use to take me down and distract me from what is actually true about God.

So I'm realizing that I have a lot to learn in order to see God as He really is--a loving Heavenly Father Who loves to give His children good gifts. "Who of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?" (Matthew 7:9) Honestly, I even wrestle with that verse--because I know many people who have asked God for something good--healing for example--and do not receive it. In fact, this same friend Abby that I've mentioned has gone through some excruciating times in her life--especially this past year. A very Jobesque time of losing a child as well as extreme health issues that never seem to get better. I know, I know--healing is not the ultimate good--God's presence is. Heaven is. Life on earth is not the ultimate fulfillment. I'm just saying...

So I've been praying--even over these months where I've really enjoyed my life--for God to help me not to be afraid. To enjoy the many blessings He's given without living in tentative fear of the next bad thing.

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him" John Piper

Speak Up!

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute."
~Proverbs 31:8

My friend sent me this article by author Randy Alcorn. (Author of my favorite book, Safely Home.) It sums up exactly how I feel about voting, and the responsibility of the Christian in regards to politics. The article might be long for a blog post, but it's worth the read. Here is the article:



'While a single issue can’t qualify a candidate, it can disqualify him.'

NOTE: This commentary first appeared on Randy Alcorn's blog on Oct. 22, 2008. It is used with permission.

As a Christian, should we vote for who we think should lead our country solely based on their stance on abortion?

The Bible is emphatically clear on when human life begins. On the same issue, science is equally clear.

Every Christian should take these teachings seriously. Is the unborn an innocent human being? If you claim to be pro-life, then your answer is yes. Is abortion the shedding of innocent blood, the taking of human life created in the image of God? If you say you are pro-life, your answer must be yes.

So, is the candidate’s stand on the issue of shedding innocent blood important enough to disqualify him as a candidate? Yes. While a single issue can’t qualify a candidate, it can disqualify him. In my opinion, this issue clearly disqualifies Barack Obama.

I don’t think someone is a good candidate just because he is pro-life. But he cannot be a good candidate unless he is pro-life. Personally, if he is committed to legalized child-killing, as a matter of conscience I must vote against him.

Now, when someone says, "But still, abortion isn't the only issue," I agree. I care very much about the poor and racial equality. That's why if John McCain was committed to legalizing the killing of the poor and the killing of ethnic minorities, I would not vote for him either.

But suppose you have two candidates, one who has promised to defend and further the legalized killing of one group of people (any group: women, minorities, disabled, unborn, poor). You disagree with the other candidate in areas that in their own right might be important, but do not involve the merciless slaughter of millions of people. Furthermore, the second candidate — whom you consider boring and disagreeable — believes that same group of people has the right to live, and he says he will defend their rights, and appoint judges who will defend it. Now, which candidate should you vote for?

If neither candidate were committed to the legalized killing of people, any people, then I would say, by all means weigh and measure those other important issues and make your choice. But can you seriously argue that these other issues trump the killing of millions of innocent children, not just now, but in the decades to come under a pro-abortion Supreme Court that could have been a pro-life Supreme Court?

Don't you believe that though there were other issues in Nazi Germany besides the killing of Jews, Gypsies and the disabled, all those other issues were trumped by that one? If Lincoln's platform involved ending slavery yet you agreed with Douglas (who wanted slavery to remain legal) in lots of other areas, would you feel right voting for Douglas, knowing you were voting for slavery?

So I say OF COURSE THERE ARE OTHER ISSUES. I don't minimize them. All I can say is the differences between the candidates on those issues don't stack up, even cumulatively, to the legalized killing of human beings. It's a matter of relative importance. A man who is a good husband in most respects, but who beats his wife, is not a good husband. That issue outweighs all the others.

I am troubled by John McCain's treatment of his first wife, (and) this is one of several things I don't like about John McCain. But his past failure in marriage is not comparable to Obama taking a present stand for the legalized killing of children.

I am not excited about John McCain in every area. But when I compare him to Barack Obama in the overriding issue of our day, the right of preborn children to live, there is a stark and radical difference. In America right now, the rights of Jews to live and slaves to be free are not on the table. The right of unborn children to live is on the table. The killing of the unborn is the holocaust of our day. Where do you want to have stood on this issue? Where do you want the man you vote for to have stood on it? If your grandchildren ask you one day whether you voted for or against the right of children to live, what will you say?

Two candidates, two records on abortion

Would John McCain be a great president? I don't know. Maybe he wouldn't even be a good president. There are so many claims by both candidates that their words seem like wind to me. I don't feel like I know a lot. But I do know for certain that one candidate defends the right of the unborn to live, and the other is utterly committed to be sure that it remains legal to kill them. And on THAT issue I know what God says is right and wrong.

Yes, I realize Obama is cool. I really wanted to vote for him, so I could be cool too. John McCain is not so cool. The question isn't whether I'd rather have dinner or play golf with Obama or McCain. (I'd choose Obama.) I am voting for McCain because it's my only way in this election to vote for the right of unborn children to live rather than die.

Now, if you think that's an overstatement, that the difference between the candidates isn't that great, or they will not influence the future of abortion in this country, I challenge you to look at Obama's dogged commitment to the legalized killing of unborn children, backed up by his 100 percent pro-abortion voting record. And look at McCain's repeatedly stated commitment, also demonstrated by his voting record, to oppose the legalized killing of children. If you think your presidential vote is not for or against unborn children, you don't understand the significance of the Freedom of Choice Act or the significance of the balance of power of the Supreme Court with the Obama judges who are certain to be pro-legal-abortion and the McCain judges who are virtually certain to be anti-legal-abortion.

So, feel free to go against the clear evidence about who the unborn really are. Then just admit that you are not pro-life. Sure, it's irrational, but at least it's a good explanation of why you would support the strongest pro-legal-abortion candidate for the presidency in the history of our nation.

But PLEASE don't just mindlessly say "I'm pro-life" then contradict that statement by saying you are supporting a candidate for president who is utterly committed to not only maintain legalized abortion through policy and appointment of judges, but who also HAS PROMISED to try to reverse pro-life state legislation passed in the last 30 years.

Randy Alcorn is the founder and director of Eternal Perspective Ministries (EPM), a nonprofit organization dedicated to teaching biblical truth and drawing attention to the needy and how to help them. He is the author of more than 30 books.

(NOTE: Referral to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family is for informational purposes only and does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)

Influenced...For Good or For Bad

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as see the Day approaching."
~ Hebrews 10:24,25

A couple of years ago I had the privilege of being part of a group of women who were taught/mentored under well known speaker and teacher Lori Salierno. Among many good points to ponder, one of the foundational things she taught us was this:

"Be careful who you choose as friends...for within 5 years you will become like them."

Now, Lori was not undermining nor contradicting Jesus' teaching that we should 'be in the world', reaching out to those who do not yet know Him. For sure, we are absolutely commanded to get our hands dirty and our lives involved with those who desperately need a relationship with God.

What she was emphasizing, however, is how crucial it is to choose wisely whom we let into our inner circle. To be careful who we spend the most time with, who we share our hearts with and, by default, begin to emulate.

I have taken this advice to heart, and today I was thinking about the qualities I most appreciate in my closest friends. These are the characteristics that stand out in the godly women with whom I want to intentionally pursue and maintain close friendships with:

1) They do not gossip. I do not hear negative, back-stabbing words uttered about mutual friends or people we both might know from church. I can also trust that these women will not slander me in the presence of another, but rather, will come to me directly if there is concern, conflict or disagreement over an issue.

2) They honor their husbands, both in their presence or when it's just us girls talking. They speak to and about their husbands with respect. And, if they disagree with their spouse or their feelings are hurt, they are selective with whom they share that information--and they do so in a way that is honest & transparent without belittling their spouse.

3) Their hope is in God. When disaster strikes or times get tough, these women communicate their feelings about it honestly, but still come back to camp on the truth that God is sovereign, and will work all things for their good.

4) They are compassionate, empathetic listeners. These friends can be counted on to really listen and care when another friend is hurting--without giving pat answers or quoting flippant platitudes.

5) They have integrity and consistency of character. They are the same in the presence of others as well as when they think no one is looking.

6) They are grace-filled, merciful people. They look for the best in others and are more willing to give the benefit of the doubt than they are to criticize. They are also much more likely to forgive than they are to nurse a grudge.

7) They are positive. Not given to constant sarcasm and complaining, but instead are more likely to choose thankfulness.

8) They are humble and realize that they are imperfect, but constantly look to God to make them more and more like Christ. At times they lose it, just like the rest of us, but they are honest about their faults and mistakes.

9) They are committed to God's Word as their authority. Though life may get them down at times, they still trust that His Word stands true and is absolutely trustworthy.

As I read over the above list, I could be tempted to get discouraged, like some of us do when we read about the 'Proverbs 31 Woman.' Instead, however, I am thankful that my path has crossed women such as these. Some I see regularly, and some only on occasion. But is people like these ladies whom I want to seek to pursue relationships with, because when I am with them, I find that I just naturally want to be more like them and the gracious God they serve. I find I am more quick to notice and correct thoughts and actions contrary to what Jesus would have me do. That's good stuff. It's being 'spurred on toward love and good deeds.'

We like to think that as adults we are not easily swayed, but the truth is that we have the same tendencies whether we are 5, 15, 25 or 55. We are influenced by those around us.

What about you? Do you have people in your life that make you more hungry for God? People who walk in love and truth, and remind you of Christ when you are in their presence? What characteristics do you appreciate most about them? What steps can you take to pursue closer relationships with them?

Authentic Christianity

"Religion is man-centered, focused on accomplishment and resulting in pride.
Authentic Christianity, however, is God-centered, focusing on humility and resulting in grace from God."

~Pastor Larry Szyman, Faith Community Church
October 4, 2008


So true...so why is this such a struggle for us as a people? Why do we so often get it backwards? What are your thoughts?

Do the Next Right Thing

See my previous post. "The next right thing"...as I prayed and asked God what that was, His answer was clear: be in My Word. Feast on that which gives life.

1) Yesterday Wade and I took some time together to pray and read the day's passage from our One Year Bible. This is something we used to do with some regularity when Wade used to get home from work at 4:30. But for months his schedule was such that he didn't get home until 6:00 PM--supper time. That meant "our" time to connect and pray for a few minutes went by the wayside. Now his schedule changed back again & we're going to try to make this time together a priority.

2) We decided to start doing family devotions with the kids during supper. (Last year we had tried doing them at bedtime, but bedtime routine already seemed to take so long that devotions felt like just one more thing to fit in and we ended up rushing through it almost begrudgingly. Plus, we didn't like the kids' devotional we were using.) So today, I went to the store and got a better devotional for the kids and we used it tonight already. We also have a neighbor girl who comes over a lot, and hasn't had much exposure to the Bible. She was excited to stay for supper and be in on family devotions. She wants to come to AWANA clubs with the kids this year, too. (AWANA is a club at our church for kids that helps them learn God's Word in a fun way.)

I know...these steps are nothing novel or earth shattering. In fact, they are the kinds of things that--as a young newlywed--I assumed would be givens in our, and any, godly household. Easier said than done. Anyway, it feels good to be taking steps in the right direction.

What ways has your family found to bring God's Word into your home?

No to the Status Quo

"Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom...And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
~ Colossians 3:16a-17

We attended The Well last night for the first time. It's an alternative service that our church offers, geared toward the 20-something generation. It was right up our alley, though. (Reminded me of our church in Indiana, too, which we still miss dearly.) Needless to say, we loved it.

I was struck by Dave's message...he spoke on the power of God's Word, and the richness it brings when we feed on it as if our lives depend on it--because they do.

Dave shared how he loves to gather all kinds of facts--world news, current events and the like. During a deep conversation at our church's marriage retreat this weekend, his wife Nicky told him that, as impressed as she might be with all he knows, none of that really matters to her. What she really wants more than anything is to have their lives more and more infused with God's truth. To have their children see that God is in all of life. He is life. His Word is life. Specifically, she also wants to hear His Word spoken constantly in their home. Me too.

It has been the cry of my heart for as long as I can remember that my life would reflect Christ in every aspect, and that everything I say and do would honor Him and point others in the direction of knowing Him better. Lofty goal, but I know it's what God wants for us. Oh how I long to be more like my Father, and at times wish I saw more progress than tiny baby steps--steps that sometimes even seem to go backwards!

Periodically, I am struck by the fact that I do not want to settle for the status quo. Nice house, nice kids, good job, etc. Do I long for a real house rather than a town home with no yard? Absolutely. But I want more. I want my life to really count for the Kingdom. I want my conversations to encourage and uplift--and point others to the God who loves them. And I want to leave a legacy for my children, one where they see that God is not something we "do" on Sundays. One where they see their parents--though imperfect & real--as people who wanted to serve God more than anything. People who weren't afraid to stand up for truth no matter what it might cost. People who chose to spend their time seeking righteousness--refusing to take part in so much of the perverted ugliness the world has to offer. Bottom line: I don't want to be just another family that attends church, but nothing is different in the way that they live, think, or speak. I see far too many families like this and I want none of it.

At our church in Indiana, Granger Community Church, a common phrase we heard was "Just do the next right thing." Lord, here I am. Show me what that is. I believe becoming a doula is part of that next right thing. And often the next right thing is simply being faithful to honor my husband and love my children. But show me if there is something more specific--any changes You'd like me to make in my role as wife, mother, or friend. I am Yours. Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

100th Post...my story

It's tradition for some in blogland to post 100 things about themselves for their 100th post. I thought I'd follow suit...

When I first started writing, I thought it would be quite a monumental task. But thanks to one of my middle of the night insomnia episodes, once I started writing I found I had lots to say. I began with mostly random useless information. But as I got going, I started really sharing my heart, steps in my journey, and key milestones in my faith. If you make it to the end in reading, let me know if you learn anything about me that you didn't already know.

So here goes:

1. My left pinky finger is crooked--thanks to a jam in 8th grade volleyball
2. I can touch my tongue to the tip of my nose. Actually I can stick it up my nose.
3. I've got a thing for orange kitchens. (Not to be confused with orange kittens.)
4. My favorite movie is probably Pretty Woman.
5. Growing up we had a beloved black lab named Abby.
6. No, my daughter wasn't named after the dog.
7. I play the flute & piccolo.
8. I've sung in 10 or so weddings.
9. I'm not very good at fixing things.
10. I didn't learn to cook until I was married. Never even made spaghetti until my 20's.
11. Safely Home by Randy Alcorn is perhaps the most powerful book I've ever read.

12. I grew up living on a little lake in Waconia, MN. My parents still live there.
13. We attended a nominal church
14. where I don't remember ever hearing the Gospel preached.
15. But when I was 14, I attended a great Lutheran Bible camp
16. where I gave my life to Jesus,
17. somehow understanding even then that this would change the course of my life forever.
18. I knew I was making a lifelong commitment
19. And that it would involve all of me, and every decision I'd make thereafter.

20. My favorite activities in High School were marching band & Pop Group (show choir).
21. I think I grew up pretty naive as I never knew anyone in high school who did drugs.
22. (I guess that's changed now.)
23. I do remember being one of only about 10 people in my class of 105 who didn't drink.
24. I was never part of the in-crowd, but no one ever teased me for my faith, or my stance on drinking.
25. At least, not to my face.

26. At the age of 13, my friend Heather & I attended Space Camp.
27. This was in 1987, and back then not many girls attended.
28. I had sincere dreams of becoming the 1st female shuttle commander!
29. But by 9th grade I realized I really wasn't so hot at science & math.
30. Instead I much preferred English, Grammar, Music, & History.

31. Also in 9th grade, I was chosen in a survey--to my complete surprise--as one of the top people my classmates "would go to if they had a problem or needed someone to talk to."
32. Those of us chosen were then given extensive training as Peer Counselors/Helpers in the areas of listening and problem solving.
33. This became a catalyst & springboard for me
34. as the skills I learned have also benefited me in everything from friendships, to job interviews, to working with the high school youth at FCC.
35. I think I also began to see here that maybe God had other plans for me than becoming an Astronaut.

36. Growing up, I was the only one in my family who openly followed Jesus. (My parents were still awesome, though!)
37. I did have a Grandma (Sallie) who prayed for me every day.
38. Over time, my mom & my sister, Bria, have joined the ranks & profess faith as well.
39. In fact, my little sis' has now become one of the greatest sources of encouragement to me in my walk with God.

40. After graduation, I had dreams of attending a Christian college.
41. I was all set to attend Bethel College--even got a small music scholarship to play my flute there.
42. But God closed the doors financially & and I ended up at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls.
43. Ironically, though I did minor in music, I didn't play my flute much there.
44. Instead I joined the choir.

45. At a secular college, it's been said that one either sinks or swims in their faith.
46. By God's grace, I swam!
47. My faith was challenged & also strengthened
48. as God led me to InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, where I learned from many strong, godly believers.
49. I saw the campus as both my mission field & training ground

50. During the summer after my sophomore year in college, I got to spend a month on a mission trip to Namibia, Africa. One of the best experiences of my life.
51. As one of 3 singers in a contemporary Christian band (all young people) with Carpenter's Tools International, we performed in assemblies in the public schools in Namibia.
52. Surprisingly, we were allowed to share the Gospel in the schools.
53. I loved talking with, praying with, & encouraging hurting teens,
54. and I loved seeing them find hope as they came to faith in Jesus

55. I have very few regrets regarding high school & college.
56. During that season in my life God gave me great boldness in sharing my faith with anyone who would listen.
57. God always seemed to be opening the doors for the most amazing conversations with people.
58. Now at age 34, I seemed to have lost some of that fearlessness and sometimes wish I could be that bold again.

59. It may come as a surprise, but I used to do a lot of speaking in both high school & college,
60. at various camps, retreats, & special services or youth events.
61. Once, at age 20, I was even paid to preach a sermon in a local church.
62. They asked me to fill in for their pastor who was out of town.
63. I was required to choose the hymns, scriptures, and preach for 20 minutes or so.
(Honestly, I can't believe I did this. I'd be scared silly to do it now!)
64. It seemed that God had given me a gift to communicate His love and truth to others.

65. But near the end of my college years, I struggled a bit with depression, loneliness, some faith issues, and a general lack of direction.
66. I began turning down requests to speak & teach until, in the circles I was in, people no longer even knew that this had a been a forte and passion of mine.
67. I don't know if God will ever choose to resurrect that gift again.
68. But I do know that I desire to simply serve Him above all else,
69. and that I want to be obedient to just "do the next right thing,"
70. being a good steward of any gift He chooses to give.
71. For now, besides my biggest duty--being a wife and mom, I believe God is leading me and opening doors for me to become a doula.
72. I love the idea of being a blessing & an encouragement to women in labor.

73. But Lord, not my will, but Yours be done.

74. After college, Wade & I were married.
75. During our courtship, engagement, and early married years, we truly believed we were called to be foreign missionaries.
76. Other than a couple of short term trips to Mexico, that vision never came to fruition.
77. Sometimes I wonder what God might have in mind far down the road.

78. A few years into our marriage, we knew we desired 4 or 5 children.
79. But before we had Abby, we went through almost 2 years of infertility.
80. That was honestly one of the most painful times of my life.
81. But it ended up drawing me closer to God
82. as I learned to trust Him more and praise Him through the pain.
83. This brought me immense freedom as I learned that God knew what He was doing
84. and that I could trust His timing.
85. I now marvel at our 3--soon to be 4--little blessings!

86. Ironically, at the risk of sounding negative, I must admit that I don't really enjoy working with other people's young children. (Except maybe infants.)
87. I marvel at the great nursery & AWANA workers we have at FCC (& I have helped a bit, myself, too)
88. But if I'm honest, I know it's not my forte or gifting.
89. (And I very much believe the body of Christ functions best when we all serve where we are gifted.)
90. Give me young women (teens, young marrieds, etc.) to encourage & teach...and I'm much more in my element!

91. In addition, one of my favorite things to do in all of life is to lead worship.
92. I love to see others drawn into the presence of God.
93. It is then that I am perhaps the most in my element.

Hmmm...I've got 7 more to go. Let's see...

94. My favorite desserts are: cheesecake, almond joy ice cream, lemon bars, carrot cake. Not necessarily in that order.
95. I'd love to live in an older home in downtown Hudson again,
96. something with character and charm.
97. Wade would like to live out in the country.
98. The best trip we ever took was a cruise to Hawaii last summer,
99. a belated 10th Anniversary trip.
100. A close runner up would be the 4-wheeling trip we took this summer.

I made it. Did you?

OK, I've put myself out there more than I ever have before in blogland. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated. :)

I'm Taking a Stand Too

This was posted on our friend Joey's blog. I may ruffle some feathers here, (I'm the only conservative voter in my family of origin) but I'd have to say I'm right there with Joey.

Monday, July 14, 2008

OBAMA ON ABORTION

Call me a single-issue voter if you like (and I suppose you would have a valid argument), but this is the chief reason I can't vote for Obama. If your judgment is that poor on this issue, then what kind of judgment would you have on a myriad of other issues?





And may I (Kara) add my own comment:

"Punished with a baby"...right, because heaven forbid they take responsibility for their actions, and choose the self-less option of carrying the baby and placing it for adoption.

Wrestling...and the problem of pain

"Oh God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live
and in your name I will lift up my hands."
(Psalm 63:1-4)

This passage has been well read in my Bible. I can remember times when I spoke the words aloud through tears. Times when my heart hurt so much I thought I might be crushed under the weight of the pain. Times when I had to remember that God is good, and He had to help me to make a choice to trust Him and praise Him despite how I felt. Times when I cried and raised my hands in the air to Him, just like the passage states, even though the hurt had not yet passed, and I didn't know what God was doing, or how long the wait would be.

This week I have spent some time writing some notes to a few friends who are walking through difficult struggles right now. So many, it seems, are in the midst of great pain or deep questions. Some have lost children through miscarriage or stillbirth, some are in struggling marriages, some in severe financial hardship, some have been betrayed by those they trusted, and the list goes on. With few exceptions, most of the women I'm speaking of really love God. They love His Word, believe He is sovereign, and seek to serve Him faithfully. But it's times like these that can cause even the most devout Christian to question the very core of their faith.

The questions they (& I) have all asked boil down to these:

1) "Does God really love me? (And what does that look like?)
2) "Is He really out for my good?" (And does that "good" refer to only the shaping of one's character and the experience of His presence?)

I have heard each of these women express in their own words that at times it seems like all God wants to do is drag us through crap, one trial after another, just to mold and teach us. I've echoed those same frustrations myself.

Sometimes the truths we've long embraced..."He is in control"..."He works all things for good for those who love Him"...sometimes those true statements can actually seem trite. Have you ever been there? I have.

As I prayed and sought words that would both acknowledge their pain, as well as offer compassionate hope, I recalled times of my own questioning. And to be honest, I still question. Sometimes I still ask God to please clue me in just a bit on what in the world He might be up to in my life.

Boy it can be hard to trust when the road ahead seems black and you can barely see your hand in front of your face. Or when the uphill climb is rocky, hot, & barren with no apparent end in sight. How do we hang on during times like this? Sometimes it's hour by hour, minute by minute. Sometimes we can do nothing but rest in His arms, or even cry out in agony--pouring out all of our questions, hurt, and anger to the God Who knows, and Who is big enough to handle it.

I can say with certainty that in my own life, it has been the most painful times that have taught me the most. It is when I have hit bottom that I have seen that God is enough. It is through walking a painful or lonely road that I have actually found freedom. Freedom in discovering that He ministers to my spirit, sustains me, strengthens my faith and leads me to greater joy beyond circumstance.

I know from my own experience, and from talking with these women, that they are not looking for a Cosmic 'Prosperity Gospel' Genie in the sky. And they understand that God uses all things for His glory. But they are wanting to experience more of God as their tender loving Father, and aren't sure quite what that looks like.

What about you? How do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves you? What convinced you? What have your struggles taught you about Who He is? Do you have any Scripture passages that especially speak to you about this? Please share, for the benefit of your co-strugglers.

Delusions of Grandeur

Why is it that the world is good and all seems well when my house is clean? And why am I always convinced that I will be able to keep it that way for more than a day?

The "Worry Bug"?

Abby came home from school with a beautifully colored picture of a ladybug in her school folder. On it were these words: "If you can't do anything about it, give it to the Worry Bug." I asked Abby about it. She explained, "If there's something I'm worried about during the day ('like you dying while I'm at school,' was her example) I can just give it to the worry bug so I don't have to worry about it." Hmm, I see. The worry bug's going to take care of things. (I almost laughed out loud at how goofy this sounded.)

After listening, I asked if she could think of an even better plan for where to put her worries. "Give them to God," she answered. Yes, honey, and do you know why we do that? Because HE'S REAL! And He alone can give us peace from worry. Not a bug, not a golden calf, etc.

I understand the heart of what the school's trying to do here, and I don't at all want to open the door for slams on the public schools--truth be told we think Abby's school is generally pretty fantastic--but I must say I found it very sad that because God is left out of the picture, our children are given nothing secure to rest in and cling to--except a fictitious bug!

If nothing else, it was a good discussion opportunity for Abby and me. And if it comes up again in school, Abby's got a plan to share the fact that she'd prefer to give her worries to Jesus over a bug, thank you.

"Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." I Peter 5:7

God in the Detours

This was the title of Pastor Tim Haugen's sermon (re: link, podcast should be loaded soon) yesterday in Church. It spoke to my heart and seemed to be a direct continuation of What Kim Jeffries was teaching on at the women's conference the day before. (See my previous post on lamenting vs. grumbling.)

Where is God in the midst of pain? Many of us have asked that question. Especially when we don't understand how we came to be in the place we're at. We may wonder if God's forgotten us, or if life's seemingly random detours and obstacles are some kind of cruel joke that no one's let us in on. I imagine that the Israelites felt that way as they wandered through the desert. But Exodus 2:23-24 tells us that the "Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out... and God heard their groaning and remembered His covenant." Pastor Haugen reminded us God leads His people out of captivity, but that He doesn't always lead in a straight line. The Israelites could have had a much shorter journey to Caanan, but God led them on a much much longer path, a detour if you will--for their own good! If He had taken them on the shorter route, they would've encountered war with a people group they were not ready to fight against. (God knew that spending 40 years as slaves had left their battle skills a bit rusty!) He was actually protecting them but they didn't know it at the time.

God also wanted the Israelites to learn to trust Him. He wanted them to "learn to desire Him more than the blessings they sought from His hand." (Quote from Haugen.) This is what leads us to true freedom!

Have there been any detours in your life? Any times when you didn't understand what God was up to, but later you were able to look back and see God's faithfulness and goodness through it all? Having to move to Indiana was one such time for me, as was going through a time of infertility years ago. I planned on blogging about some of that...I guess I'll need a part II (or III)! More later...

Lamenting vs. Grumbling

This past Saturday I participated in an all day women's conference (complete with spa treatments!) at our church. The speaker was radio host/DJ Kim Jeffries. (Anybody remember her from KS95, 94.5 FM, back in Jr. High?) She became a believer a number of years ago and presented some wonderful teaching about our identity in Christ, as well as the stories our lives tell about God and who He is. She identified the difference between lamenting and complaining/grumbling.

Lamenting is all about crying out to God in the midst of our struggles. It's about being real and honest about our pain, but when we lament, we also hang on to the hope and belief that God is good will be faithful. As one friend put it, it means that while we acknowledge a painful situation, we don't camp on the negative indefinitely.

Grumbling, however, is camping on the negative. It involves complaining to the degree that we lose our thankfulness for what God has done for us, and we stop putting our hope in God--we stop believing that God is out for our good. (The Israelites were the example here.)

Lord, in my struggles, may I be one who laments and not one who grumbles! May I be real as I walk through dark valleys without painting a dark picture of God Himself. I can think of a number of friends who are excellent models of this. One such dear friend has been on bedrest as I type.

I think I'll share more about this in another post, but Kim Jeffries had us all do a helpful exercise to teach us how to "give a good report about God" in our difficult circumstances. Yes, I'll write more about that later! Stay tuned!

What Was I Thinking?

OK, for those of you who saw a very long post beginning with locusts (Don't get too excited, Ed) a few days ago and wondered where it went...

I put it back in the draft file for now. It was one of those where I really put my heart out there sharing about struggles and some of the valleys in my journey...and then later looked at it and decided I wasn't sure I was ready to put all that out on my blog. :)

Also, the 2 commenters I had were left hanging in suspense, and I realized they were expecting some sort of great conclusion or dramatic ending (and rightfully so) to the story--neither of which I have. (For those who read it, there will be a part II, though, as there is more to the story.) The journey I'm on is still in progress. I'm still in progress. :) But God is good and He's always up to something bigger than we can see. So thanks for understanding, blog friends!

My purpose in blogging

To blog or not to blog...that has been the question. Have been teetering back and forth for a while now on whether or not to start one...

Some folks who blog possess great wit, humor, creativity, or just plain great ability to make you really think about the stuff that matters. I do not claim to rival anyone in these areas, I just want to be me, and I just want to blog. :)

My heart is: to share my heart. I'm looking both to stay more closely connected with those I'm in community with, and also to utilize this great way of recording family happenings--those little moments and memories we experience each week that we'll forget if we don't jot them down.

I do keep a family scrapbook, as well as numerous scrapbooks for my kids (OK, as well as detailed baby books AND a journal for each of my kiddos,) but it's been pretty hard to keep up with all of that! So I thought this blog would be another piece of the legacy...another way for my children to see the joys, struggles and triumphs through the eyes of this Christ-follower. May they see that I love Jesus. That my greatest desire in this life is to know God and to make Him known. May they also see an example of one who is imperfect but presses on in spite of it! My dear family, I pray earnestly that you would find richness in this life through knowing your Savior. That you would see yourselves as the treasures that you are--dearly loved and paid for with the highest price. I also pray that you would experience the purest love of God, despite the inevitable flawed parenting you will no doubt receive. :) God, please make up for my mistakes and use me anyway!