Joy and Pain

It's strange how you can have joy, and yet your heart can be heavy at the same time...but that's how I feel. My heart hurts for my sweet mom who has been dealing with daily pain, and often nausea from the cancer her body is fighting. I just want her to feel better and be able to enjoy life with us again. And yet, as we wait and pray and long for healing, I am also overcome with a joy and peace that only come from God. I am so convinced that He is good, despite how circumstances look. And I know in the depths of my being that He can be trusted with whatever He is up to.

Yesterday my sister, Bria, and I set up a CaringBridge website for my mom. If you are praying for her, I know she'd be encouraged if you stopped by the site to tell her so.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/judiknutson

Happy 40th Anniversary!

It's my parents' 40th Wedding Anniversary today! (If my scanner was working, I'd include a nifty wedding picture of them.)

Anyway, in talking with our children about the wonderful accomplishment of 40 years of marriage, Abby's response was "Boy, I hope you two stay together that long...or live that long." Nice.

Congratulations Mom & Dad! You are an inspiration.

Getting Old

I've been on what feels like a never-ending search for a good haircut and stylist to match. This week I tried again. The young, hip gal did a decent job on the cut itself, but slicked my hair to my head like a drowned rat, and I'm still shaking my head over a few of her comments:

"Yeah... you want something age appropriate." (Age appropriate...since when is 35 old enough to have to worry about being age appropriate?!)

"Wow, do you color your hair or is that all natural?" (I was thinking maybe she just meant I have nice natural highlights, until she added "Because you hardly have any grays." [For my age.]

"You really had what I call the 'meat loaf' going on here in the back--we've got to get rid of some that." (Huh, that was the part of my hair that I liked.)

"If you grow it out a bit, it won't look so much like a mom-style--sorry, did I offend you?"

And when I asked her to style my hair with an outward flip, her response was "Do I have to?...that was like 6 0r 7 years ago."

And lastly, from my hubby: "Hmm...it kind of makes your head look small. And it doesn't really fit with your style of clothes...try a different shirt on and see if that looks better." (What?!)

It's getting old, folks. And apparently I'm getting old, too.

Pray For My Sweet Mom!

This past week my sweet mom, Judi, was told that the cancer she'd beat over 10 years ago had returned. The week prior, we had spent our annual week up at a cabin in Bemidji with my family. My mom had been in such terrible pain that she couldn't do anything all week except try to sleep. She had a terrible muscle pain/bulge in her back that she'd been dealing with for a month or two. She'd been to her family doctor, a physical therapist, and a chiropractor. It didn't occur to any of them to check for a recurrence of the cancer.

We had to wait 3 excruciating days for her to meet with the oncologist, go over the CAT-scan and to know if they suspected the same type of cancer, as well as how advanced it might be. We got good news! The oncologist said he's 95% sure it's the same type of cancer as before--a Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, one they call a "good kind." He said once again that it's very treatable. He started her on Prednisone right away on Friday to begin reducing the size of the tumor pressing on her back muscle and thus ease the pain. (She also has it in several other places). The oncologist didn't feel a biopsy was necessary, and is just starting her on chemo right away on Monday. She'll have it M-F this next week and then rests for 3 weeks. Repeat. This cycle should continue for 6 months, and hopefully no more after that.

Please pray for healing for my mom. For the tumors to shrink to nothing. Also pray for her spirits to be encouraged as she fights this disease. Above all, pray that God would be honored and glorified. Pray that we would trust Him as His ways are not like ours. He sees the big picture and we have such limited vision.

It is normal to feel scared (as, to be honest, I have been and still am) when someone you love faces cancer. But I want to trust in my God--my God Who is big, my God Who is good in all He does, even when what He does is not what or how I would choose.

Our family at White Pines Resort in Bemidji, MN, one week ago.

Finally

It's true. The seemingly impossible has happened. Nathan, my 3 and 3/4 year old has officially christened the pot. This moment was a looooooong time in coming. He's done it folks. Wonders never cease... Please humor me in the play-by-play:


1) Despite many tricks and suggestions, he'd had no interest in the big boy potty. No desire to aim at the Cheerios or dress in big boy underpants. He liked reading his potty book, but wanted no part of acting it out himself. We were starting to think he might wind up the first kindergartner ever to still be pooping in a diaper.

2) A month or two ago we began giving him 2 M&M's for at least telling us he'd gone in his diaper and needed to be changed. It was something. Baby steps.

3) Then two days ago he decided he wanted to wear underpants OVER his diaper. Fine. Great. We'll take what we can get.

4) That night he decided to sleep with his potty, along with his teddy bear. Super. He might not want to pee in it, but at least he was losing his aversion to it, right?

5) Then yesterday out of the blue he informed me that he wanted to wear his big boy underwear with no diaper at all. I didn't care how many accidents we might have--we were going for it. He let me know later that morning that he actually wanted to sit on his potty. I ran to get it. Ladies and gentlemen, you can guess what happened next! I just about peed myself, I was so excited. He went several more times during the day, no matter that 2 accidents were also in the mix.

6) Later that night I was talking to my sister on the phone, telling her of his accomplishment, and added that I had no idea when he might poop on the potty too. No sooner had I gotten those words out of my mouth, then my son walked in the room with something behind his back and a big grin on his face. He then proudly presented me with a stinky little lump of brown from his potty bowl! We had to call the whole family up to see what he'd produced. He beamed.

Alright, there's no turning back now. And I think we're on the road to victory. Only one accident today. And only one more kid left to potty train after Nater-Putt.