"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as see the Day approaching."
~ Hebrews 10:24,25
A couple of years ago I had the privilege of being part of a group of women who were taught/mentored under well known speaker and teacher Lori Salierno. Among many good points to ponder, one of the foundational things she taught us was this:
"Be careful who you choose as friends...for within 5 years you will become like them."
Now, Lori was not undermining nor contradicting Jesus' teaching that we should 'be in the world', reaching out to those who do not yet know Him. For sure, we are absolutely commanded to get our hands dirty and our lives involved with those who desperately need a relationship with God.
What she was emphasizing, however, is how crucial it is to choose wisely whom we let into our inner circle. To be careful who we spend the most time with, who we share our hearts with and, by default, begin to emulate.
I have taken this advice to heart, and today I was thinking about the qualities I most appreciate in my closest friends. These are the characteristics that stand out in the godly women with whom I want to intentionally pursue and maintain close friendships with:
1) They do not gossip. I do not hear negative, back-stabbing words uttered about mutual friends or people we both might know from church. I can also trust that these women will not slander me in the presence of another, but rather, will come to me directly if there is concern, conflict or disagreement over an issue.
2) They honor their husbands, both in their presence or when it's just us girls talking. They speak to and about their husbands with respect. And, if they disagree with their spouse or their feelings are hurt, they are selective with whom they share that information--and they do so in a way that is honest & transparent without belittling their spouse.
3) Their hope is in God. When disaster strikes or times get tough, these women communicate their feelings about it honestly, but still come back to camp on the truth that God is sovereign, and will work all things for their good.
4) They are compassionate, empathetic listeners. These friends can be counted on to really listen and care when another friend is hurting--without giving pat answers or quoting flippant platitudes.
5) They have integrity and consistency of character. They are the same in the presence of others as well as when they think no one is looking.
6) They are grace-filled, merciful people. They look for the best in others and are more willing to give the benefit of the doubt than they are to criticize. They are also much more likely to forgive than they are to nurse a grudge.
7) They are positive. Not given to constant sarcasm and complaining, but instead are more likely to choose thankfulness.
8) They are humble and realize that they are imperfect, but constantly look to God to make them more and more like Christ. At times they lose it, just like the rest of us, but they are honest about their faults and mistakes.
9) They are committed to God's Word as their authority. Though life may get them down at times, they still trust that His Word stands true and is absolutely trustworthy.
As I read over the above list, I could be tempted to get discouraged, like some of us do when we read about the 'Proverbs 31 Woman.' Instead, however, I am thankful that my path has crossed women such as these. Some I see regularly, and some only on occasion. But is people like these ladies whom I want to seek to pursue relationships with, because when I am with them, I find that I just naturally want to be more like them and the gracious God they serve. I find I am more quick to notice and correct thoughts and actions contrary to what Jesus would have me do. That's good stuff. It's being 'spurred on toward love and good deeds.'
We like to think that as adults we are not easily swayed, but the truth is that we have the same tendencies whether we are 5, 15, 25 or 55. We are influenced by those around us.
What about you? Do you have people in your life that make you more hungry for God? People who walk in love and truth, and remind you of Christ when you are in their presence? What characteristics do you appreciate most about them? What steps can you take to pursue closer relationships with them?
