My husband has a lot of little quirks that make me laugh. Like his insistence on fixing ailments himself so as to save money. (And I'm not talking about herbal supplements verses medication.) For example, once we didn't have insurance and he was pretty sure he had a sinus infection. He of course didn't want to pay to go to the doctor, so he came up with another bright idea. Having grown up on a farm, he knows all about antibiotics and the dosages given to cows and such. He also knew that those cow antibiotics are sold over the counter for anyone to purchase at Fleet Farm. Awfully tempting to this hubby of mine. He decided it should be no big deal to just mathematically calculate his own dosage by weight and proportion to the meds. So off we went to Fleet Farm. Wade was almost giddy as we paced up and down the animal med isles in search of the "right" antibiotic. No amount of protest from me would sway him.
It wasn't until he saw the size of the meds he'd have to ingest that he hesitated...each pill literally looked like a big blue tampon! OK, so eventually he backed down and later that week ended up at the doc's office for the real thing. Phew! (Note: later we talked to a reputable vet at our church who informed us that you should NEVER do that. You cannot calculate equal weight proportions from animals to humans. What would work for a 175 lb. animal might be WAY too much for a human. Thank you Lord for scary big blue tampon pills!
But every once in a while, Wade's bravery and creativity pay off...like yesterday.
Yesterday I took Abby to the doctor to have a little bump on her hand checked out. (Nothing of concern, as I suspected.) While we were there I asked the Pediatrician to check out Abby's now healing wart that Wade "took care of" a month or two ago.
The doc said: "looks great! What'd you use, a wart remover?"
Me: "Ummm...no...my husband...uh-um...freeze dried it or something." (I'm immediately worried about her response.)
Doc: "Oh, perfect! Looks like he did a great job."
Abby: "It really hurt."
Doc: "If it doesn't hurt, it usually doesn't work.
Doc: "So, did he use an over the counter [freezing medicine]?"
Me: "Um...no...he's a mechanic...he got something...er..uh"
Abby (pipes in): "He used gum remover." (For carpet, airplane seats, etc.)
Doc (to my surprise): "Oh super. Yeah, that stuff's even stronger. Tell him good job! I should start sending patients to him and he can be Hudson's Wart Remover!
I couldn't wait to tell Wade. I knew he'd be proud.
So today when I told him what I was blogging about he said "I don't get why everyone thinks this stuff is so funny. I don't give a second thought to it."
That's why it's funny, honey.
10 comments:
Oh man if he doesn't sound like Poppers.
Kristi, I actually thought the same thing.
I am NOT letting my husband read this post!
Next time you get a sinus infection just boil about 1 quart of water with 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar, pour into a bowl, cover head with a towel and breathe the vapors for ten minutes. Do this every 8 hours. The longes I've seen a sinus infection hang on with this assault is 24 hours.
I've seen those big blue tampon pills before growing up on a farm. My dad would have to put them a big, long contraption and stuff them way down deep into a cow's throat otherwise they'd just spit it back up. I'm glad he passed on actually using them himself.
Was he thrilled to hear such praise from the Dr.?
Keithslady, awesome! I'll tell Wade. Between that and his neti pot he should be set!
Nicole, yes, Wade was beaming at the doctor's praise. :)
Did you ever see My Big Fat Greek Wedding? The dad in that show uses Windex on and for everything under the sun. Ha! Those farm kids sure are resourceful.
That kind of resourcefulness is right up my alley.
Nice job, Wade.
I. Love. It.
When can I make an appointment with Dr. Wade? I have two warts I'm ready to get rid of.
Also, the phrase, "Thank you Lord for scary big blue tampon pills!" will carry me through to another day.
Erin, Wade's got Friday's open for appointments.
There must have been someone in some Middle Age county village that thought this kind of stuff was commonplace, too. If you don't try, you'll never know, right?
Way to go, Wade!!
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