Send Me to the Loony Bin

Some days this is how I feel. Notice Jen in the background...I don't think she's quite feelin' my pain. She is enjoying her new Mac computer though.

The OpinionNater

Alright, I warned some of you that I was going to do this post. AND that it would probably be my longest post ever. So here goes...

If two year old Nathan were to write me a letter about a day in the life, this is how it would go:

Dear Mom, pray for patience today. The morning will begin like this...I will come bumbling into your room with my carpet hair sticking out all over and Bear tucked under my arm and demand to nurse RIGHT THIS SECOND. I'll also insist that you sit up immediately to do so. Upon the granting of my request (after you've required me to calm down and ask nicely) I'll look up at you with my big blue eyes and then wave hello with my little hand. After giving me fair warning you'll get up to take your shower and I'll either scream until you're done or bug my sisters until one of them ends up in tears because I swatted them with my new T-ball set.

When you try to get me dressed I won't be pleased with any shirt you pick out. When offered the option to choose my own, I will kindly live in my race car jammies all day, thank you. Which would be fine except that I'll rip my bib off at breakfast and subsequently spill my cereal on myself. Then I'll get mad and demand that you remove my wet jammies immediately.

When it's time to get ready to leave, I'll refuse to get my socks on. If you pick blue socks, I'll want red and vice versa. Even if I pick my own I'll still complain that they hurt and that they're "buggin' me." And good luck fixing them. It's anyone's guess as to how many adjustments it will take to satisfy me to my foot's content. But then I'll refuse my shoes, too. I may agree to my rain boots, on the wrong feet, though. And my coat...only if I can zip it up myself...except that I don't know how to zip it up myself.

And carseats. I don't like mine. The buckle and harness really cramp my style so I'll be sure and let you know. And the music you pick, mom, I won't like it. But if there's no music, I won't like that either. Once we find a song I like, I won't like the volume. And good luck trying to guess what I want because I get "turn it up" and turn it down" mixed up.

Once we arrive at the store, I want to walk. You'll inform me that I either have to hold your hand or be carried through the parking lot. Given the options, I decide to kick and scream and make a scene. You'll be thankful for the kind elderly gentleman in County Market who says with a knowing smile "stick to your guns, Mom, this too shall pass."

Once we're back from the store I'll now want to stay buckled in the aforementioned once dreaded carseat and not come in the house. Once I'm lured in, I'll insist on helping to put the groceries away. But I don't want to put the milk in the fridge. I think it belongs in the cupboard instead. When it's time to wash my hands for lunch, I'd rather lick the germs leftover from the shopping cart. Don't want to waste a good cold virus I might be able to catch. And when you put the foam soap on my hands, it had better look like a snake. No other animal substitutions will do, mind you.

By the way, when you're halfway through typing this, I'll be sure to hit the off button on the computer and erase the whole thing for you. Then I'll want to climb up in your lap and snuggle.

We might have some good times reading books or doing puzzles, but then the rest of the afternoon will continue along the same vein as the morning. I don't want my teeth brushed before nap. And if I pick the bubblegum toothpaste, once it's already on my brush I'll be sure to scream that I had actually wanted the mint instead. Too bad, you tell me patiently.

Don't even get me started on my diapers. One minute I've pooped and want to be changed immediately, but if it's not my idea, then I don't understand why they need to be changed at all. I'll also be sure to demand "medicine" (ointment) on any imaginary owies I might dream up for random places on my legs. Then I won't want my pants back on either. Thanks for creating the game where I get to at least pick which leg goes in first.

I know my sisters still slept 2-3 hours for nap time at my age. I'm sorry you have to wake me after an hour or I won't go to sleep at night. I'm sorry that I have a hard time staying in my bed and always seem surprised when you put a gate in my doorway after I've attempted my escape. And I'm sorry that I almost always wake up crabby after the naps you have to wake me from.

Mom, with more of the same from me at supper and bedtime, it's a good thing you pray often. I hear you taking deep breaths, counting to 10, and asking God to help you parent me with loving discipline and secure boundaries. Please remember that I am a toddler, and am trying desperately to figure out how much of my world I have control over. I haven't figured out yet that the world doesn't revolve around me, that I have a sinful nature, or that impulse control is even an option. But please be patient, God isn't finished with me (or you for that matter) yet.

Love,
Nathan


P.S. You're right, Mom. It's a good thing I'm cute.

Confessions from Mom:
After my first two kids, I sort of thought I had the parenting thing down--at least with toddlers anyway. (Yeah, go ahead and laugh.) Oh sure, I had challenges with the girls too (like hour long screaming fits), but I don't remember them testing me incessantly on absolutely everything. And I thought we had a pretty good system of expectations, obedience and consequences for the lack of. I'd read all the parenting books--even studied child development in college, and thought I was confident in my parenting style. And I admit, when I'd see other mothers whose kids acted the way I've described Nathan, I'd think to myself "lazy parent. She needs some backbone. Her kids are running the show. She needs to step up and be the parent. She needs to have firm and consistent consequences, etc. etc." While I still do think there are plenty of cases where that assessment is probably accurate, I have also been humbled. It's not always that simple. I am not kidding when I say I often have to pray my way through my days. (Shouldn't it be that way anyway, though?) This parenting thing is hard. On so many levels. And I need God and his wisdom to get us through to the other side! I'm so thankful He promises to give wisdom "generously to all who ask, WITHOUT finding fault." (James 1:5)

Over the Hurdle At Last!

What was looking like a basket full of Easter eggs just 2 days ago is now looking cheery and inviting...thanks to just 4 more (ugh!) trips to the paint store (to make a total of 8 now), some more money wasted on a few more 'no go' colors, and finally an afternoon of help from my friend Pam the artist. (Many thanks and kudos to you, PW!!!)

OK, so I had complained about the bad curb yellow in the hallway, which is where it all began. Not sure if it was PMS or what, but the yellow has really grown on me since my last post. Thankfully Pam agreed--nice warm yellow--no hint of curbs involved like previously suspected. Phew! So PW and I moved on past the hallway and then she saw my next dilemma--the freshly painted "terracotta" room turned out to be a 'beachy salmon.' OK, once again, not what I was going for. Pam says "Wow, you picked a humdinger of a color [to find the right shade of]...we have to fix this." So we piled all of her kids in my van and accomplished all but a drive by shooting as we snatched up every last available color swatch in orange-ish brown left in Hudson. We settled on one, staking all of our hopes on it. Bingo--love it!

Now we just learned it may take 2 months to get carpet in...can't believe we didn't think to order it early. Normally I'm such a planner. Well, what can you do? (Any suggestions?) Buy direct?

For today, I am just thankful to have the paint dilemma solved. Thank you, Lord! And Pam! FYI, the pictures below are the final product. (So if you're thinking Easter eggs, don't say it.) The blue and green room is the girls'. The terracotta room is the toy/tv room. I'm lovin' them both! And the yellow makes me happy every time I'm near it!

Paint Schmaint...I Give Up!

I've been to the paint stores 4 times in the last week and it's not over yet. I'll begin with that and back up...(prepare for a long read)

So we've been living in our town home just a few days shy of a year. So glad to be back in Hudson, but tired of having all 5 of us cramped into two bedrooms (with Nathan in the walk-in closet) while we finish the basement. There's no play area, and I've got bins stacked 3 high in the kids' room along the walls. Even when things are picked up it doesn't really look or feel neat & tidy. (I'm not a fan of piles and clutter.) And it's getting to me. I want to 'seek first His kingdom'-- not the stuff of earth. But I do have such a desire to make our home feel like a home. To feel settled, and for things to have a place.

We're nearing the end, though. Wade has done an amazing job and the next step (my only step, really) is to paint, and then it's just carpet and trim! Sounds simple. We've done the paint thing many times before. In fact, I counted 12 rooms I've picked colors for and painted, over the span of 3 'houses' in our married life. We've done every color of the rainbow: reds, oranges, yellows, greens, blues, purples, and browns. I've liked most of them. But occasionally I've picked some doosies. (SP?) Like the crazy green in my bathroom. Lime Rickey turned into Bright Lime Yucky. (I even had professional help choosing that one!) Anyway, back to our basement. We've got two bedrooms (one will be the toy/TV room), a wide hallway area, and a stairwell. Got the girls' room painted a pretty blue and green. Done. Planned on painting everything else a warm and cheery, yet muted, apricot yellow. A color I had seen as a backdrop at a furniture store . Somehow I ended up with a muted version of curb yellow.

I'm stumped. I had gotten all the color swatches, tried them in different lights, on different walls. Even got the big 8x11 sample sizes to compare. So next I went to Sherwin Williams for expert help. I don't think the guy there knew much more than I do about picking colors. After an hour of agonizing, using their light box (simulates natural/artificial lights) and chasing my children out from under the paint cans and greasy paint sprayers, I left with a quart sample of a beautiful blue that the rep talked me into, and I went to Wal-Mart to get the lighter yellow he recommended. Wade hated the blue. And the yellow looks peach on the wall. Back to the drawing board. So now I'm thinking terracotta for the toy room, but I just don't know for everything else. I wanted to avoid the beiges and neutral greens this time around. I like color. I like unique, but not weird. And we're not going to be here forever, so it has to look OK for resale. I've actually lost sleep over stupid paint colors! I think I may have found a few shades I like, but it pains me to think of wasting even more time and money. Man!