My Mom

Sometimes life can be more painful than we ever dreamed it could be.  The following is an update on my sweet mom, who was diagnosed with cancer (Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma) this past August.  (Read here for my original blog post.)

Mom finished her round of chemo at the end of December and had been on the road to recovery.  Her January PET scan showed no visible signs of cancer, but we knew we would have to wait for a second PET scan in March to know for sure if there was anything that just hadn't presented yet.  We were hopeful, though, as the oncologist said there was only a 20-25% chance that the cancer would resurface...We hoped she was finally in the clear...

Last week we noticed that she'd had some slight confusion, and this past weekend she ended up in the ER where an MRI was done and showed that the cancer (presumably the same Lymphoma) had spread to her brain.  She had a large amount of swelling around the tumor which had put her at great risk for a seizure.  We are thankful they caught it in time.  Radiation was started yesterday and the oncologist is confident that we should be able to get it completely.  The bad news, though, is that because the cancer spread to her brain (which is not usually typical of Lymphoma), this means it is probably in her blood and will now very likely show up someplace else.  So unless God decides to do a miracle (which He could!), this will not be end of it.  That's scary, to say the least.

I've cried an ocean's worth of tears this weekend.  I am afraid of losing my mom.  She means the world to me, and is so so precious in the lives of my children as well.  Despite my fear I am also completely convinced that God is trustworthy in all of this.  He can be trusted with my mom's life, and also for whatever He is allowing or has planned.  As I pray for healing, I am standing on the promise that He is always up to good for those He loves...her good, my good, etc.  That may not look the way we think it should, however.  Healing may not come in the way we would most desire.  He holds us tenderly in His hands, nonetheless.  He is not distant, but intimately involved in each detail.  And somehow, His grace is enough for today.  Glory be to His Name!

With Hope,

Kara Jo

You can also go to her Caring Bridge site for updates.  (Go to Caringbridge.org, and  login under Judi Knutson, probably without the space in between her first and last name.)