This past weekend was one of those that makes you wonder "What was I thinking--trying to parent 3 children with another on the way? I stink as a mom, I don't know how to do this right. I'm surely messing my kids up."
Nothing out of the ordinary really. It was a Saturday. Wade was up at the farm and the kids and I were home for some much needed down time. But they bickered and bugged. Nathan whined and wailed. I fought back tears as I struggled with patience and the need for wisdom in parenting. I did keep myself from yelling at the top of my lungs and/or saying things that would really wound their spirits (unfortunately I have done both before, more times than I can count)--so small victories I guess. Anyway, the kids weren't horrible, but they were driving me crazy. I knew it and they knew it. I just feel crummy after days like that.
Last night there was a bit of a bright spot, though. As I tucked the girls into bed, we took some extra time to chat. (We should do that more often--but I'm always in a hurry to get them to bed it seems.) Abby shared a prayer of hers that God had answered.
"Mom, I got to talk to two of my classmates today about how Christmas is really about Jesus coming...and Easter is really about Him dying on the cross for us. My classmates had never heard that before and were so surprised to find out that Christmas and Easter aren't just about presents and candy! And Mom, I had just prayed the night before that God would give me an opportunity to share His love in a way where I wouldn't be embarrassed. And He did!"
This time I fought back tears of gratitude.
The kids and I talk a lot about looking for chances to share God's love & to speak His truth in love. When I was growing up, my dad used to say to me every morning before I left for school "Be nice to people." I have adapted that with my own kids and they often hear me say "Love people with God's truth" as they are walking out the door to catch the bus.
Whether God is using me & my utterly imperfect self to shape my kids, or whether He's growing them in spite of me, (hopefully both) I am thankful that some of the right stuff is getting through somehow. :) Thanks Lord.
8 comments:
You are doing a great job! And way to go Abby! I've felt like you described many times. Even sometimes when I don't think I show my irritation or impatience, I feel guilty just for thinking it. And of course, there are those times when I do show it and do the same things you've done. We can only take it one day at a time.
Kara,
You are a blessing to your children and they in turn can be a blessing to others.
Love, Mom
Ditto to what mom said: you are a blessing to your family.
I hear you. I'm so glad God chooses to use us despite our imperfections. Remember to keep giving yourself permission to recieve his grace, you sweet pregnant mommy! I love Abby's precious heart.
What a beautiful story! I am often amazed at what God does through my children in spite of me. I know how often I've failed and they can pretty much remember just about every one of those times!
Ladies, thanks once again for the encouraging words and grace reminders.
Keithslady, I'm really hoping my kids don't remember all the times I've failed--what a long list!
The helpful thing to remember is that they really don't remember many specific details before the age of about eight. That gives us quite a bit of wiggle room! I just think I needed an extra decade or two.
Awww that is awesome. I have many days like what you described. Love you.
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